NicoleSwan.com

Yes, this is the obligatory Oscars post. I have nothing to say about the awards themselves. I didn’t see any of the movies up for best picture. I think I saw two of the performances for people nominated for acting categories. Given my lack of knowledge in the award area, I’m going to instead critique the women’s dresses.

No, I do not have formal fashion training. However, I do know a few things about color. So this rant will be about color choices. Every woman has colors that look best on her. She KNOWS which color(s) look best on her. For example, if I was going to the Oscars, I would wear bright scarlet red. These celebrities have a large number of experts, and, hopefully, friends helping them get ready for the Oscars. So how do a good number of them get there looking like @$$?

A few guidelines:

• If you have pale, pale skin, DO NOT wear a beige/taupe/tan dress. It will swallow you.
• If you have darker skin, you can get away with most colors. However, avoid colors only a few shades away from your skin color.
• If you know you look good in a particular color, WEAR IT.

A dress can be absolutely beautiful, but if it’s the wrong color for the person wearing it, it will look horrible. Again, why, famous people, why? Put those dollars to work — I’ll help a sista out next time around.

Celebrities who apparently have friends that like them: Renee Zellweger, Kate Winslet, Salma Hayek

Celebrities who need better friends: Maggie Gyllenhaal, Gwyneth Paltrow, Scarlett Johannson, Diane Sawyer (morning round up on GMA), Halle Berry (for abusing the “I-can-wear-anything-and-look-good” zone), Taryn Manning

Celebrities very close to needing new friends: Cate Blanchett (the yellow was too close to her skin color), Annette Bening, the Deschanel sisters