The rise and fall of NKOTB
Posted on | October 27, 2003 |
Last night I polished off yet another episode of I Love the 80s Strikes Back. Ok, let’s not kid ourselves. It was two episodes — 1989 and 1980 — and I had already seen 1980 twice before. In an effort to find more worthless TV to consume, I came across VH1 Classic. I caught the end of a video that took me back to that time when I road the bus to school, we all wore stirrup pants, two different colors of scrunchy socks, and a baggy shirt tied in a ‘fashionable’ knot at the waist, and we, of course, listened to the leper of all boy bands — New Kids on the Block. I remember two distinct stages of the phenomenon that was NKOTB.
Stage 1
Like, Jordan is so HOOOTT. Hangin’ Tough is the best song ever. Turn up that Walkman.
This is the stage where loving New Kids on the Block is the cool thing to do. This is where one bought all the tapes, had a NKOTB bedspread, and even sported the shirt which looked quite snappy tied at the waist and paired with stirrup pants. Because I was a late 80s/early 90s child, I wouldn’t have missed this stage for the world.
Stage 2
Like, I can’t believe you like them. I never really liked them. What a bunch of losers. Like they are totally last week.
This is the stage in which they became lepers of this boy band lovin’ society. When friends found your tapes, you lied — using an excuse such as ‘Ugh. My mom bought those for me and I didn’t want to hurt her feelings by throwing them away. I just keep them by the George Michael tape I’m not supposed to listen to’ to justify their existence. The girl that held onto her love of NKOTB was SO not cool. When Hangin’ Tough or The Right Stuff came on the ghettoblaster, you sang all the words, then looked awkwardly about to see if anyone had documented that you knew NKOTB song lyrics.
During this stage, somewhere around 1994, New Kids on the Block attempted to morph into NKOTB.
So, now, I’m waiting until 2010+ when VH1 can make I Heart the 90s Strikes Back: 1994 and document the unsuccessful rebirth of NKOTB. Other wonders I’m waiting to be docu-logged by VH1 are half-curled back half-curled down bangs, scrunchy socks, Spumoni clothing, and pants rolling.
Until then, I’ll have to settle for I Love 6 Months Ago.